“Some periods of our growth are so confusing that we don’t even recognize that growth is happening. We may feel hostile or angry or weepy and hysterical, or we may feel depressed. It would never occur to us, unless we stumbled on a book or a person who explained to us, that we were in fact in the process of change, of actually becoming larger, spiritually, than we were before. Whenever we grow, we tend to feel it, as a young seed must feel the weight and inertia of the earth as it seeks to break out of its shell on its way to becoming a plant. Often the feeling is anything but pleasant. But what is most unpleasant is the not knowing what is happening. Those long periods when something inside ourselves seems to be waiting, holding its breath, unsure about what the next step should be, eventually become the periods we wait for, for it is in those periods that we realize that we are being prepared for the next phase of our life and that, in all probability, a new level of the personality is about to be revealed.”
— Alice Walker (Living By The Word)
I don’t think i should spend my life with someone who doesn’t even know who he is, what he wants, having life with no goal, a kind of wanderer, ….well, he seems to be interesting person, he’s pretty charming, cute one, half german half russian…but again….i know why i like him, because he’s like… my new experience in life, he shows me something different, being with him is like being in a new world….i’m a different person, and i know myself well, that’s who i am, i like experience new things, something different…that’s so me..
That’s why…and that’s why i’m writing this..writing about him…trying to tell myself to stop thinking about him, he’s going to leave soon.
And he will become the memory after all.